The life of a live action anime boy

10:51pm: 25th birthday, and new lands to explore
OK, so about half a month ago, I said "coming soon a new entry," but sorry it wasn't soon enough. I have been kind of busy and I'm thinking of going all out vlog soon, but I'll put an effort to post those vlogs here as well, but if I don't, the link is youtube.com/grapplerjmo. And the reason why I plan on going vlog is because a majority of my next trip to Japan has been set. I've done all my primary resources, and Interac was kind of a last resort in case the JET program and Phoenix/Himeji Sister Cities didn't fall through. And guess what, those didn't go through and I have decided to go to Japan through Interac, a private company where I have to pay for my own airfare, and the pay isn't as good =(. Anyway, just a couple of days ago, I was called by Interac about what positions they have open, and they told me I will be teaching at a high school in the Kagawa prefecture in Shikoku, another island in Japan. I am now in contact with another Kagawa ALT, a British girl named Isabella. This is her first time to Japan.

Also, the orientation will be in Hiroshima, so that's uber cool for me. I of course plan on seeing my host family, the Miyazaki's, when I visit. Hopefully they'll provide me more information soon in regards to this placement. I think Shikoku is going to work out for me. If it doesn't, I'll try another city when the contract is done. Interac is nation wide so I can stay under the employment and try different places.

That's it for now, bye.

10:26pm: coming soon
......another fucking entry

9:37pm: A new chance
OK, so it's been ANOTHER SIX MONTHS of not posting on this blog. Reasons? Nothing big going on in my life. I finally closed the book on Amber just last week and resolved some of our issues and differences, and I was able to say good-bye to her, and that job at Pearson and with Higley School District. I was kind of happy at both jobs, but there was no opportunity for the advancements I have been seeking and holding myself back from. Which is why I am now announcing that I am now going back to Japan. Ever since I got back, I've been at some what of a dead end and struggling to find a job of my education and abilities. So my only solution was to go back.

During my last project with Pearson, Amber and I were growing apart. But we had to confront these issues like adults and still be friends. Eventually, Amber came to tell me the issues she was having with her personal life and I had to confront her with mine and it suddenly became the great friendship we had last year. I now do regret that I did try to ask her out by giving her a necklace (which she did return to me), but I had to come to terms that I am now in a different place spiritually. But I know for the rest of my life, a part of me won't be able to let her go, especially when she's been so different from other girls in my life. But I feel going to Japan will help me let her go, but it's not the ultimate reason why I'm going back.

I felt last time, I didn't realize my full potential and didn't make the most of it. I had to return back to Arizona because of family situations that required my attention. Now that those issues have been resolved, I need to reset my direction (and purpose?) in my life - to give it some kind of.....something..... I just feel that I left Japan 2 1/2 years ago with a lot of unfinished business when I left Arizona almost 4 hours ago with a lot of unfinished business which is now finished. This time, I hope to stay for at least 2-3 years. I just felt my distractions from last time were preventing me from enjoying and living my last experience. I'm hoping to be free of that and fulfill these duties the way I was meant to.

I'll post more later

11:01am: New president and weird dreams
First off, I spent some of my day watching the inauguration of our new President, Barack Obama, a man I did not vote for and a man I don't agree with on ANYTHING. I'll admit that much, but I have to accept the reality that I did not vote with the majority and that he's now the president for the next possible 4-8 years. He's an easy person to suck up to and people are already calling him the best president in history. I'd be a hypocrite to make a statement that's too pre-mature since people like me are calling the upcoming Dragon Ball Evolution movie the worst movie of all time. I don't see myself changing my party affiliation any time soon. I think Obama is wrong on immigration, especially if he's picking someone like Janet Napolotano as secretary of homeland security. She fucked up in Arizona as Governor. I don't get how he expects her to succeed on a national level which is the number one beef I have with Obama. And now our taxes are going to go up and the vice president is a guy who thinks "jobs" is a 3 letter word. I'm not that celebrant about it and I don't think of Obama as this Messiah or God or some beacon of hope like the world says. I don't care if he's black or Indonesian or Muslim or Christian or Republican or Democrat. I just simply don't like him at all.

I'll admit my bias being raised in Arizona on why I wanted McCain to be president. I think he's of course an excellent moderate politician and an excellent record on making hard decisions. If he's another 4 years of Bush, then we had Bush in the senate and playing a huge influential part of it for over 20 years now. I think he's made good decisions in his career, and I think he has a better record of bi-partisanship. So I was hoping he'd get it for Arizona. But I guess two guys from Arizona winning the most recent Ultimate Fighter and the Cardinals going to the super bowl makes up for it. But the worst thing Obama has done so far is certainly appointing our governor as Secretary of Homeland Security. I guess he forgot the part of when Mexican officers came to Arizona in hopes of assassinating Phoenix Police Officers and all the drug and coyote wars in our high ways.....and it looks like I'm going to have to give up a good portion of the money I'm saving up to go to Japan.

But anyway, that's enough of my own personal political rant. Time for my own personal life. I plan on taking my exams on Friday and hope to study once I get this finished and published and then sign up for my next set of courses. My job is going ok though I have been taking it slow lately just to study and relax. But I think I'm doing fine and hope to do well on Friday. Tomorrow is my appointment with the dentist, so no big deal. But with Obama raising taxes and going to make the country socialist, I may have to work more often then I need to now if I'm serious about saving my money.

I don't know why I'm going to post this, but what the hell. I had a dream last night that I killed some people from my childhood that I hated with a passion, and don't really give two shits about them now. Then again, I just started watching Death Note again. But whenever I get together with my friends that I've had since high school, we always share stories from high school who we hated just for the fun of it and the things they did to us, and the things we did back to them. My friend Cameron Boyd likes to do this a lot and hasn't seem to move on from high school though he has found some success and happiness with his life. I am happy with my life, but I am trying to find the happiness that I want. Rather than getting back at people I hated, I am more concerned with connecting with my old friends like Brandon and Paul. I wonder how those mother fuckers are doing. I heard Fumie is now in New York somewhere and wonder how she's doing as well.

I feel like I can handle the real world, but I just feel as if the real world can't handle me. I am trying to go for the jobs and dreams I want, but I feel that the people who can give me that, are telling me "no" really does hurt me a lot. I had a hard time taking the count less quarter life crisis' I've had. I hate to have my mid-life crisis 10-15 years from now. I anticipate major suckage there. But anyway, back to my dream. I dreamt that I killed one of the guys by arm barring him to death if that makes any sense. He was pissing me off, and started something with me, and then I took it to the ground and gave it the hardest arm bar I ever put pressure on.

Another guy I killed in my dream was my arch nemesis in fifth grade who got me in trouble and gave me shit. I remember one time in fifth grade second semester we jumped me and I threw sand in his eyes and I got in trouble and told him to his face in front of the teacher that I hope he gets raped in the woods. He gave me shit. I don't give a shit about him still, but if I hear in the event he does get raped, I will laugh my balls off. Last time I saw him was in senior year of high school after school one day over 5 years ago, and he was still a prick. My brother and the friends his age still hate this jock named Michael Braunstein and wish more ill on him than the people I hated. But how i killed my 5th grade enemy in my dream was we meet at the food court in San Tan, he throws a soda at my face and I get to him and I strangle him to death with a rear naked choke and I tie him up with my jacket and throw him in a garbage compactor. I'll admit it freaked me out, but at the same time, I felt good doing it.

I'll admit not much has changed about me. I still act the same way I always had, and I like the same things I always liked. But now I got a set of priorities and I'm trying to work them out. All the people Cameron Boyd hates are worthless bums. I don't know about the people I hated. I know one guy I hated is financially broke, and the others aren't going really anywhere with their lives. Does it make me feel better? I'll have to honestly say, yeah, it does give me some sense of victory that I came out on top in terms of life.

8:37pm: Hmmmmm where to start and where to end
Hey guys, it's been six months since I last posted anything. I thought I was going to quit blogging....I don't know, but I took a very long break and between then and now, so much has been happening in my life and much more has been happening and a lot is bound to happen. The only blogging I've been doing is just my anime, movie, drama, and manga review on my video sites and I've been enjoying that as well. But I guess I can talk about the bigger details as they get bigger and bigger.

First off, I have a new job and I technically work for two companies at the moment, but I more or less do the same job. And yes, after 2 1/2 years, I'm back to substitute teaching. My first stint with Gilbert did go bad and thankfully neither the company I work for, nor the district I work for look into that even though I sort of indicated it in my application. What I mean by sort of is that I did say that I did work as a sub for the Gilbert in early 2006 and didn't really get into the details of why I can no longer work there again. But thankfully my letters of recommendation and my references got me hired with the current district I'm working for, and now I'm getting paid $100 as opposed to $80 when I with Gilbert.

I've had my good days as a sub and bad. Like back before Thanksgiving break, I subbed for a drama class. I heard that last year, the class went through 5 teachers!!! When that day went on, I could see why. Thankfully it was a half day, or else I would have went insane and hung myself, or would have killed anyone. By the time the day was over, I wonder if the previous 5 teachers either just flat out quit, got killed, committed suicide or what, because if regular teachers couldn't have handeled them, I don't get how the fuck a substitute teacher ever could. If I were allowed to use corporal punishment, then things would have been awesome.

There was this sixth grader that drove me to the edge. He wouldn't stop jumping up and down, and making racket. I swear to God, he totally needed ritilin or something. If he had ADHD (which I think he does), then that's the worst case of it I've ever seen. I so wanted to find a bottle of it, and shoved it down his throat. But on my good days if it were up to me, I'd give the kids a party. But that's the life of being a substitute teacher.

At the request of my parents, I am currently working on getting my teaching certificate in Japanese. I was hesitant at first, but I thought I'd do it for fun. I'm almost done with my first stages and I'm doing very well. Hopefully I can get this all done by May. I know I can do it. But it has been helping me a lot. Thanks to my previous experience at Gilbert, working in Japan, and these classes, I know how to handle myself better now.

But I always enjoy working at this school on Higley and Frye. It is full of HOT teachers. And the Principal is a total babe as well. I am not kidding! But these are the kind of teachers who would not get jail time for banging their students because they are hot off the charts!! And just last week, I worked in their resource class. It's a difficult experience, but in the end it was rewarding. Especially with this eigth grader who was being a pain in the ass, but on Friday, he finally did something and it worked. I couldn't believe it!!

Anyway, I'll have more stuff later

8:03pm: It's been a long time
Yeah, it's been a very long time since I did any blog entries. A LOT has been going on, and here is a small portion of what's been going on with my life

youtube.com/grapplerjmo or dailymotion.com/paraparajmo

i still do youtube and dailymotion so you can check my videos there

9:41pm: Remembering Juan and Petronilla Respicio and Steve Fortston and moving on in my life
OK, I've been meaning to do this for awhile now, but had no idea how to articulate my thoughts on these matters in writing, so I'll do the best I can because I still don't know how. Today, I dedicate these blog entries to remember the lives of three great people in my life, one of them, I've never even met. First, I would like to address that around this time last year, my grandfather, Juan Respicio died in the late 80s. Yeah, he may have been old, but it still stinks that he had to go. He was the finest men I've ever known. I don't say that just because he's my grandfather. He fought in World War II and earned a purple heart and a bronze star, and he became a successful lawyer and judge. He was a great man that served his community and his country. But it's a major bummer he died that he did not get the full benefits that American soldiers did that fought in the war. I think he deserved the same rights because even though he was born and raised in the Philippines, he fought for America's military and was promised those same benefits and rights, but they back stabbed him and many others. It's just a major bummer that he died without being granted those same rights. It's really tragic that not many great and dedicated people like him are a rarity in this world. Even at his age, he did all he could to continue contributing to his people and his family. Unfortunately, a year before he died, his brother died and from what I heard, he was suffering from Alzheimer's. Fortunately, I haven't had anyone in my family that I know of suffer from it yet. I don't know how i could handle somebody I care about not being able to recognize me or seeing myself suffer from that kind of illness.

Unfortunately, my grandfather died around the same time his wife died but 30 years ago. Heck, my grandmother Petronila Absing Respicio died long before my parents met. So I really can't comment anything about her memory or the kind of person she was. Even though I am incapable of having any kind of fully established emotional connection because I never really knew her, you still can't help but feel it still sucks a fat one. All I knew was she was an old school kind of parent even by my mom's standards. So she's like old old school. I really can't comment anymore than that. All I can say is that she is just a grandmother I never go to know. And now, all I have left is my grandmother from my father's side. At this point, I sometimes wonder if she's never going to die. I felt that way about my grandfather but it just happened to him in addition to his detroriating health at the time.

Now, I would now like to talk about my old friend, Steven Fortson. He died 8 years ago. I only knew him throughout a good portion between 8th and 9th grade, and he moved to North Carolina while I was in 10th. Our good friend Casey broke the tragic news to me and my family that he passed the moment we came home from the Philippines during that time in late May/early June of 2000. He died of cancer just like my grandmother and he fought that disease like a Spartan warrior against Xerxes and his Persian army just like my grandmother. Even though he had that dreaded disease, he was still always himself and never seemed to make a big deal out of it. He would always party with us by playing video games, watching anime, and he digged making Megaman figures. But Steve had dreams, and I remember one of them was being able to go to Japan. It sucks that he never had that chance. He would have had a blast if he had the chance to go. His optimism throughout those hard times he was going through has become an inspiration to me and how I want to live my life and how I would raise my kids.

It's times like these is when either my faith is either further solidified and at the same time in some form of doubt. I guess it goes to that whole saying of "for every positive, there's a negative." I know that by knowing Steve and my grandfather and from what I know about my grandmother, they are certainly in a better place with God or whoever runs the good side of the after life. They were dedicated Catholics and they never committed any foul sins. Whatever service they dedicated, I'm sure they did it for the lord. But sometimes, I wonder why the lord takes these precious people away from me, and yet he allows the Holocaust and 9/11 to happen, and why Bin Laden and Castro are still allowed to live and terrorize innocent people. Juan and Petronilla were respected community leaders and fine parents. They never ethnic cleansed anyone or instigated any ludicrous Holy War. Steven Fortson never used weapons on mass destruction on others. Why them and those people? I'm not trying to play a blame game on God or any deity here, but I just feel that in a spiritual sense, death makes little to no sense to me in this context.

But there's the question, are they truly better off dead? Is Steven and my grandparents truly better off in a place where they don't have to deal with the bullshit that's going on in the middle east or the way the world is being run now? I don't know. I know for certain Steve would really love to play the Wii, he would dig the PS2, and he'd go crazy on the PS3. I'd like to know what he'd think about the upcoming live action Dragon Ball movie or the Budokai games. Unfortunately, he's not here to live the progressing luxuries of the hobbies he left behind. I mean, can he play PS3 where he is now? What can my grandparents do where they've gone? Can they still continue their line of work? What is the afterlife truly like? What allows us to enter God's kingdom anyway? All I know is, I know I'm not worthy for God's kingdom. I don't think I'm worthy for someone like Amber, but I just do the best I can. All I can do is be the best I can.

I've been through some adversity and multiple early life crisis' and I've been through some hard times in elementary, jr. high, high school, college, post graduation, working in Japan, and being home since then. I went through part of my life as the Fedor Emelenenko of all losers. I'll admit it's not the adversity of a kid growing up in a regime of the Taliban or under communism, but I feel that those experiences I consider adversity was what makes up the character and personality I have now, and I feel that it's what somehow ultimately led me to Amber, the invisible winged angel I am now madly in love with as if she's Ai Amano from Video Girl Ai. Meeting her was if I won a grand prix tournament during the heydays of Pride.

I'm glad you dig that star necklace I gave you. I'm glad in the end I didn't pick a heart one because you told me you didn't like hearts, and I have this special feeling I did something right by choosing a star instead. Maybe there's a special connection to us after all that was preset. I really wanted to give you a necklace with wings to symbolize that to me, you are an angel that truly needs them to fly to a world where you truly belong. But I chose the star because it's a world where I feel you fell from and I wanted you to still feel some part of it. It's weird that I admit we have a connection because we can talk to each other like we've known each other our whole lives, and yet I also feel some sense of distance because I still feel I don't deserve a girl like you because of all the bad decisions I have made in my life. I thought with the hardships I had to go through, I would be fucked up. I'll admit I can be, but I know if I met the right people, I knew I'd turn out right and I think I turned out all right so far.

I guess some of those tragic events in my life is what also helps me appreciate my overall life in general and what I have now. So if there's an internet in the after life, I hope you three are reading this because I will always love you guys and still miss you. Maybe we'll see each other again, maybe we won't. We'll only know once we cross that bridge.

For now I want to conclude this entry with a quote from Brandon Lee in an interview he did prior to dying on the set of The Crow, one of my favorite movies of all time:

"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."-The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowle

8:37pm: Back to work (for now and who knows for how long) and training
I'll start off with Saturday. First off, congratulations to Ray and Truman for winning their fights. That was awesome. I knew you guys were going to win and glad to have been there. Sorry I couldn't make it to the party. Fort McDowell is faraway from where I live and just wanted to be home before bed time =p. But earlier that day, I had the privilege to meet Jason Chambers of Human Weapon, and a training parter to a cousin of mine at 10th Planet. I asked Jason if he knew my cousin and says he only knows people by their bizarre nicknames, and not by their real names, but he says he's got a good idea of who I could be talking about.

Jason is a great guy, and a wonderful instructor. He showed up 5 minutes late, but it was ok. He flew here from LA via Southwest and they lost his luggage which totally sucks. Apparently, he has a brother who lives here and is staying with him which I thought was cool. I can't believe within 2 months, I meet famous martial artists that I never thought I'd meet. First was Hermes Franca, who I got to roll with, and then I met Jason...unfortunately, I didn't get to roll with him because he sort of took off after the seminar was over. But he taught us butterfly guard techniques, butterfly guard defense, butterfly to x-guard transitions, back control (like to spider web and to the twister), and single leg to omoplata, and some others kick ass technique. Of course I have a pic with him, and got him to autograph the foreward to my copy of Mastering the Twister! Now Eddie is coming in June for a seminar and plan on signing up for that one as well.



Anyway, I'm now working on a new assignment. AND IT SUCKS BALLS!!!

6:06am: Work is done for now, training, and youtube account removed
OK. To start things off. My youtube account (ParaParaJMo) has been removed by the corporate assholes who were deleting my anime and J-Drama reviews. So I made a new one, GrapplerJMo. I got some old reviews stored and I'll be reuploading them along with them to my dailymotion account at http://www.dailymotion.com/ParaParaJMo. WhitytheReviewer has always had my back and I hope he can help me get back on my feet. So be on the look out for old reviews as well as some new ones.

OK, in other news, I finished my NAEP assignment with Pearson back on Monday. Man, was that a crazy week. Won't be waiting for pay for another couple of weeks though, but that should help me in the mean time. I'm hoping to find a job to go to Japan by July or August. Because I'm not in the mood to go back to school yet or anymore. I just feel like I'll accomplish nothing if I go back. I feel like until I accomplish what I want to accomplish, I don't want to go back to school.

My MMA training overall has been progressing. Monday we worked on our wrestling. Even though I did a couple of seasons, I never won a match and I totally sucked balls at it....and still suck balls at wrestling. I was always better at leg riding and working with my sprawl, but take downs were never my specialty. I started out working with striking and was always primarily a striker. Plus, my upper boddy strength is shit, while my lower body strength is more of my own personal specialty.

Tuesday, my brother was still working but I still went to BJJ practice. Not that many people there. We worked from getting out of side control to butterfly guard, butterfly guard sweeps, and X-Guard.

Yesterday I did striking. My sparring partner was I believe a 6'1" Australian. Jamie taught us the basic stance, etc. Like with an MMA stance, you got to be more wider to anticipate and defend the take down. I haven't sparred in awhile and I was sure as hell rusty. I'm used to playing Winky Wright in terms of boxing by being defense and working behind the jab, but it's sure of a hell lot different in kickboxing and MMA standards. Jamie even let me and my partner go 2 rounds in the cage. He says he still need work (of course), but he says he liked how we had technique. Afterall, that's what sparring is all about. For the most part we were pretty neutral in the center of the ring, but I felt I had the better rushes when I had my partner cornered. In the first round, he took me down and I got him in half guard. I should have underhooked, but wearing boxing gloves, it was difficult for me and I over hooked him. I didn't take a bad ground and pound, but I still managed to fight back in my own half guard which was cool.

In the second round, I managed to catch my partner with a corner rush again. Then I clinched him and tried to take him down with a fireman's carry. But he got my back and attempted a rear naked choke on me, but his boxing glove and my head gear made it impossible. I say both of us could have done a whole lot better. I need to get in much better shape. Cut down on the coke and pizza and cookies and need to start eating more healthy.

I felt my southpaw stance made a difference. Thankfully my old coaches methods of parrying the jab and countering with my jab helped a lot. And working with Inoue-san in cornered rushes also helped me. Once that I think about it, I could have used my side kick and front kick more. I was so good at them in Tae Kwon Do and in street fights. I felt I used my leg kicks more effectively and I tried a few head kicks. I feel next time, I could work on those moves instead.

9:49pm: MMA training, Thoughts on Frank vs Cung, tomorrow's Ultimate Fight Night; and TUF
First things first. I am feeling better now. I had a great weekend where I could forget not getting the Sister Cities program job. I finally talked Derrick into coming to Arizona Combat Sports with me. The guy is a better natural for the sport than I could ever be and I thought he deserved a chance of checking the place out and we could roll in the cage or ring.

Anyway, the moment we show up. We're filming an audition video for one of the guy's at the gym for the next TUF. A guy from AZ Combat Sports, CB Dollaway is going to be on this season's TUF and I encourage you to watch it. He has a style that makes Rampage proud. So I just stood by and helped the guys out and I know the guy we're helping out (not going to say his name for protection reasons) can not only get into the Ultimate Fighter, but win it. I also know CB can win the whole thing. He's explosive and strong. But I heard Forrest Griffin's team won a certain majority of the fights, so who knows. I'll try and get tickets to the finale.

Then Derrick and I finally got around to training. Derrick trained with another guy and Derrick got beat, but he did well. If he had more formal training, he could have beaten his opponent. He exhausted Derrick. Eventually we got to rolling with the cage and it was a lot of fun. He worked on his take downs and he got me down in the cage a few times. It was quite a fun experience for him. After that, we went to a Chinese buffet to eat dinner and I just thanked Derrick for coming and it really helped me feel better to show up after all.

Anyway, my thoughts on the Cung Le vs Frank Shamrock fight. I thought it was too much like an exhibition/sparring session. Cung Le just picks apart his opponents. I think Frank could have used his left hook more to score up the points, set up for a knock out, or use it to set up his take downs. I think Frank could have won if he was also more aggressive at certain points. But I hope Frank gets well soon. Anyway, I don't see Cung beating Akiyama, Kang, Filho, or Silva. But anyway, I say Frank will win a rematch.

And tomorrow is Ultimate Fight Night. I'll give my predictions on the main card.

Irvin vs Alexander
-Irvin needs to initiate. Alexander fights with one game plan. Go in there and whoop that ass. Alexander is ground tested, it's all about getting the mount and defeating him. Just initiate and initiate. If you're fighting Alexander, it's all it is.

Maynard vs Edger
-I say Maynard will win this by either late round submission or UD

Boetsch vs Hammill
-Hammill by 1st round TKO

Diaz vs Pellergrino
-I say Diaz by submission in round 2 or 3, or UD

Karo vs Alves
-Karo by an impressive UD

Florian vs Lauzon
-Florian by UD or late round submission

I'd give deeper thoughts but just way too busy right now

Anyway, yesterday I finally took up Jamie Varner's MMA class. I've been meaning to do it for sometimes now, but just really couldn't find the time to do so. I figure it now fits my schedule. Unfortunately, I can't go tomorrow to help out my family, but I hope to come back on Friday. Yesterday we worked on armbar and triangle defense. It was more active defense in comparison to other classes and I really liked Jamie's class because of how active his lesson plans are. All I know is just posturing and stalling which can only work for so long.

So basically it was like a no gi bjj class but more for mma context. I asked certain questions in relations to posting and posturing and it really helped me a lot. Then we did rolling. We did it for 2 minutes in comparison to 7 minutes. I felt the 2 minutes was way more demanding because people are looking to finish you ASAP and you're trying to defend. Thankfully my defenses were working to a certain extent. I'm learning to flip out of gulliotines, etc. so it's working out for me. With my other partners, I used twister side control to get to the mount but we were so sweaty (and I was so tired that) my opponents easily escaped my mount to half guard =(. I even go to roll with the champ =D. But I was tired by then and was only at like 10%. Man do I need to lose fucking 50 pound!!! I tried using twister side control on him but I was too tired to put any weight into it and coordinate myself. Thankfully he gave me opportunities to use the arm bar escapes against him. Somehow I had him in my rubber guard and I tried to transition to a triangle but he used the triangle defense against me as well which he taught. Thankfully I was not submitted =D.

So yeah, that's it for this entry. I'm no longer that depressed over not getting the job and I'm glad I got AZ Combat Sports helping me out indirectly where I can forget all my troubles.

7:44pm: Nothing left to lose
OK guys. Bad news. I didn't get the job through the Phoenix-Himeji sister cities program. It totally sucks balls. It does frustrate me big time. I don't want to wait another year. It does frustrate me to the point that I want to kill people I hate....even if I haven't seen them in over 5 years!!! I felt bad about the interview but I just had to hope for the best. The last time was JET I felt really optimistic about it and I was really devastated I couldn't get it. I was a bit more pessimistic about this one and the frustration this time isn't as bad, but doesn't mean there is still frustration where I know I want to do something bad to people I hate just to make myself feel better.

Am I a sick bastard for admitting this? I'll admit I am a sick bastard. I got so much pain in me and I just can't bottle it up anymore. I feel like my happiness is deteriorating ever since I came home and this is just making shit worse.

It's not that I feel like I left myself down. I feel like I left Wagner-sensei down the most. I just don't think I can face her right now. I was one of her first students and always her best. I just don't want to make her look bad that her best student can't get a prestigious ALT job. That's what frustrates me the most. I was always the best in Japanese classes and it just frustrates me with how much hard work and dedication I put in, it just makes me feel like that work went down the drain and that's what also hurts a lot.

Am I going to kill anybody? If you're the wrong person, then don't push the wrong buttons. Will I get arrested for this entry? Maybe. Am I honest about how I feel? Fuck yeah

8:44pm: I know I want it and some other stuff and back from Germany
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcCiUfSfAFg

OK, I got back from Germany last week. I'll talk about it when I get pics up. But I had a great time. We had some difficulties but the great times made up for it. But I just want to talk about what's going on with my personally first and look back on my life, etc. This may be a long entry....I don't know. It depends on how long I can take this for. So, I guess I'll go on.

Last Sunday, I had my interview with the Phoenix-Himeji sister cities program. Getting this job means a lot to me. I feel like I got nothing else if I can't get this. It means more than getting JET. I feel that this is a second chance. Working for Heart the last time, it was just hard for me with all of my distractions at the time even though I had a good time, but really couldn't make 100% the best of it.

I just felt the moment we started talking in that interview, I felt I didn't offer enough to show that it means a lot to me and what I can do for the program. I sent them a thank you letter the following day that I was grateful for the chance and that I could assure them that I was someone I could rely on if hired. Sure I many not be the most articulate person there is, but I know what I am capable of in what I can do for others. But I felt I didn't do enough to convince them I'm the man, and I am really doubting myself. I just didn't want to come across as desperate. I can't say whether or not I did good or bad. I say if I had to judge myself, I would say that I did have good intentions, but maybe that's not enough. I pray that the program doesn't read this blog entry This is totally different from applying for JET 3 years ago. I was dead set on going with JET after graduation ever since I was a freshman.

ASU rejected me the first time, gave me a second chance to apply, and I was accepted...and managed to graduate in 3 years. I thought I did good in my JET program interview and felt I had EVERYTHING and more to get accepted. Being rejected was very devastating for me. And I still feel to this day that the JET program made a mistake not accepting me. I know I'll react the same way if I can't get this job.

But when I couldn't get into JET, I felt I let a lot of people down. I really took it hard. I didn't want to believe it for the longest time. If I couldn't get JET, my parents were going to force me back into more classes which was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt that all the hard work I put into graduating a year early went down the drain and made it meaningless. Not just that, but 7 years of work. Before taking Japanese, I was never really good at anything in school. Then when I took it in high school, I magically got it and somehow became a top student. I'm still in consistent contact with my old Japanese high school teacher to this day. It would have meant a lot to her if I made it because I was one of her best students. I was scared of facing her if I couldn't get in. It's not that I felt I let myself down, I felt I left herself down a lot and all of those who believed in me. That's where it hurts the most. People believe in you and you don't get the job you were preparing years for and this shit happens.

But if it weren't for getting rejected by JET, I probably wouldn't have gone to Tsuchiura. It was a great experience. There was Kuroki-san, Team Nova Uniao in Tsuchiura, Kanazawa-sensei, and Inoue-san. I had a lot of friends there. But I hated how Heart treats their employees and how unsupportable they were in certain times. With Phoenix-Himeji, everything is there for me. I am making a whole lot more money and paying rent compared to what I was paying is virtually non-existent, and Himeji looks like a culturally Japanese city in comparison to Tsuchiura. But I know in the end, despite all the distractions and the shitty pay and zero benefits, working in Tsuchiura made me a better person, and now I feel I can appreciate the experience in a different light now.

I know I'm now a better person then I was 3 years ago, but still not perfect and I know it's almost easter and it's the day when Jesus is forgiving us for our sins, etc. Here is a little situation I'm in that kinda of transitions into this which will make some of you call me a total low life and asshole regardless.

I'm not going to bring this person by name. It was a guy I mostly saw between 6th and 10th grade. We hated each other throughout that time, and after 10th grade, we were never in any classes again and for the most part, and only cross paths once every other week or so after that and give each other bad glances. We got into fights in 6th and 10th grade. In 6th grade he threw a ball in my face and I put him in a guillotine choke and made him gasp for air and in 10th grade, I elbowed him in the face Tito Ortiz style. Thankfully neither of us got suspended.

The thing was, I never did anything to him. He just got in my face for no reason and wanted to call me names and talk crap about my family. And here's what i recently heard. His son needs a kidney transplant is dying and the sick truth is, even though I haven't seen this guy in over 5 years or heard from him since until recently, it actually makes me feel good to hear that. The guy has spoken ill of me and wished death on me every time he saw me for no reason, and now he is having this shit happen to me. What can I tell you, karma baby. Yeah, karma will catch up to me too. I've done some stupid shit myself for no reason, when when it catches up to me, I'll accept it. Will people be happy of what could happen to me? Probably will, but that's life.

I know the situation between us was a long time ago and we were kids, but when you think about it, the fact we were kids is kind of a stupid excuse. We are always repeatedly taught that we should not hate and be tolerant. It's sad that we knew better then, and I know better now. If he saw me now and offered an apology, I think I'd accept it. If he wanted a fight, I'm not responsible for what happens to him.

I have no fucking idea why I brought this up. Maybe it's because in some sick way, I think he got what he deserved, and in my own sick way, I didn't get what I deserved. I don't know. Maybe it's good to get it off your chest sometimes in some way.

9:32pm: Meeting Hermes Franca, predictions for UFC82, and going to Germany and other good news and updates
Wow, it's been a long time since I've written a seriously blog about anything in my life. The truth is, nothing really exciting has been going on for sometime. I wanted to talk about some experiences in November, but want to move on from that. All I can say is my mom forced me to go to Indiana for something. Don't really want to talk about it in full detail in hopes future jobs I interview with won't read this. My mom said it'd be a good thing for me and had high confidence. I wasn't really sure about it from the start. So, I decided to go with it for her. It really hurts you the most when you do something you know you can't be sure of, and only do it because you feel like you were forced to when you have other priorities on your mind (like going back to Japan for example which I will get into later). I'm currently living under my parent's roof so I guess I had to no matter what and I felt it would have been worth a try. Despite my hesitations, I thought it'd be a good experience regardless and thought it would still be beneficial.

But yeah, I've been meaning to talk about some of this stuff for awhile that only made the experiences worse. I was only going to be in Indiana for over 12 hours, but really less. My original flight schedule was supposed to be I leave Phoenix between 7 and 8PM, and arrive in Indiana 2 or 3am their local time. But then the plane I was supposed to board was having plumbing problems. They kept on saying they had trouble fixing it. That they needed the appropriate part. They got the wrong part. People were going crazy. Fights were almost breaking out. They even had to arrest a guy for going crazy!!! I felt this wasn't going to be worth it. I was on the brink of breaking down myself. I knew I couldn't handle it anymore. I came close to just forgetting it and going home. I told my mom I wanted to come home and thought it wasn't working anymore.

Then at midnight, they finally got us a new plane and we boarded. Man, was the flight crummy too. I had my feet stepped on and rolled over. It sucked and I was going crazy. And I arrived at Indiana between 7 and 8am their local time. And I was supposed to meet with these people my mom wanted me to work for between 9 and 10. So I virtually had no sleep, and was physically, mentally, and emotionally a wreck. I only had my hotel room for an hour and really had no time to sleep. It fucking sucked. I seriously wanted to sue to airliner for emotional damages. I felt bad for the people that reimbursed me for my trip and couldn't take me. I still can't remember over 75% of the interview to this day because I almost feel asleep.

But let me tell you about Indiana itself from what I remember, it was the most boring place I've ever been to. The new San Tan plaza has more things to do than that entire state. It sucked balls. The houses and down town areas are like stuck in the 1940s or something. Nothing to do or anything. I can't make a living and make a life in a place like that. Hell no. Then I went back to the hotel room. Sadly, the most beneficial experience I got out of it was riding in the taxi with my Hundarian cab driver. He was a nice guy. Told me he wants to move out to Phoenix and told him he should, lol. Then I went back to the hotel, took a shower, and went back. And the flight back home sucked too. Thankfully I had no bullshit delays, but I had to sit next to rowdy and stinky teenagers who were kicking each other's chairs and I wanted to choke the shit out of them still not able to get any sleep.

Man, my family was really well, I don't know. My mom was somewhat mad at me and she wouldn't listen. Told me it was something I had to learn from. She's not the one that had to wait for nearly 6 hours to get on a plane, not be able to get any sleep, had to go to an interview and while on the way, went across the country to see a boring place. As much as I love my mom, I told her to stick it because of all of that and we had trouble talking for awhile. But since then, I've been avoiding her advice because of that. I know it was not her fault. It's just it's one of those things where you don't feel like listening to anybody because it was their idea in the first place.

That's it for that. But moving on, yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet Hermes Franca, the former WEC Lightweight champion, and the former UFC Lightweight title contender. I was doing drills with my partner and when I got up to have my turn to practice my guard practices, I saw a stocky dark skinned bleach haired individual that seemed familiar. Then during Gustavo's demonstrations, I ran to get my glasses and I turned in his direction and recognized the man as Hermes Franca. I saw him talking with Robson. I was hoping that when I had an opportunity, that I could roll with him. I met him at the drinking fountain and introduced myself. I told him I was a big fan and he said thanks. I asked him when he was available if I could roll with him and he accepted my offer.

And rolling with Hermes Franca was one of the greatest opportunities I ever had in any of the martial arts I have studied. Whether it'd be Tae Kwon Do, Wrestling, Judo, Boxing, Kickboxing, and Jiujitsu. Franca was not going at 100% but he was of course testing me and helping me out and even teaching me. Even so, it was the most physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually beneficial/breath taking/shocking/exhausting/life changing experiences I ever had. I'm not saying that to take away anything from my other jiujitsu instructors past and present (Terakado-san, Mizuno-san, Kurihara-sensei, Gustavo, and Steve), it's just that with Hermes, I was star struck. This guy went the distance with the champ and has fought and beaten and went toe to toe in his career. Rolling with Franca gave me a new sense of inspiration.

I also asked what brought him to Arizona and to Arizona Combat Sports. Hermes told me he is having some seminar at some private academy in Mesa, and that he was also friends with Gustavo and Robson Moura, another black belt from Nova Uniao, and the head of the branch in Delaware. Robson is currently in Arizona preparing for a fight in Japan. Robson is a great guy himself. He's got real technical jiujitsu and his style is more suited for what I'm aiming for in a technical sense. I also over watch some of his private teachings and have used that to my advantage as well when I get to roll. Like choking people with their gis while in their half guard. I told Robson that I have been over looking some of his private sessions and have used those techniques. I apologized for it, but he said to not sweat it because he's glad people are benefitting from it.

But I learned a whole great deal with that spar we had. From my brief wrestling career, I of course learned such basics as the half nelson which I have always used in my jiujitsu to set up positions and submissions, and to prevent my opponent from posturing up or taking his own position, etc. It has been very beneficial to me. But with Franca, he taught me a VERY SIMPLE counter that not many people know but should still. Like the arm I use for the half-nelson, he tucked in his arm around it and squeezed it and threw me over and rolled me over. It was crazy. I taught it to my brother and he told me it hurt when I tucked in my own arm. It was very simple, but you don't think things like that exist because you never really take the time to think about it. But that's what Jiujitsu is all about, baby.

Another thing he did to me was he fought my rubber guard. I'm not really that good at using the rubber guard for submissions yet, but I have used it effectively just to stall the person and in hopes find openings for an omoplata or gogoplata (have trouble aiming for the triangle). I was able to get my left leg above his neck, but when I tried to lock in my right leg for his hip. He grabbed it and tugged it and tried to do some of these crazy moves. I was able to use all of this stuff I learned and use it to some efficiency. But other than having a serious lesson, he also wanted to have a good time. When I was in his half guard, he got in and tried to scoop me over...but he grabbed my trunks. I thought it was funny (and humbling) that Hermes Franca fouled against me. I told Gustavo, Steve, and Robson that he grabbed my trunks. I saw them smiling a bit. Hermes said, "It's ok. Nobody saw it." Then we had a good laugh out of it.

Shortly afterwards, he caught me in a triangle. I fought it as long as I could, and he started lightly elbowing me in the head for a good laugh and I tapped =(. I also tapped out to an armbar. But in the final minute. I somehow got in a leg lock. As he was posturing up, I sunk his leg more into my armpit for more grip and leverage and then, he actually tapped out! And seconds later, the bell rung. I know Hermes was doing it to help me, but just that whole experience itself was very......liberating and mind opening. I held my own against a guy I look up to. He even cussed in frustration when I was able to get out of his holds!! I really couldn't believe that!! But yeah, I was tired, but this adrenaline rush I got afterwards got me going and the emotional relief I had in the end of going with Franca had me back on my feet. Anyways, I didn't catch him today =(, but here is some pictures of us together. And damn, does that shirt make me look fat!

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y295/KujoJotaro/0226081144.jpg

And here's a pic of Gustavo, Robson, me, and Franca
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y295/KujoJotaro/0226081147.jpg

But thanks to that experience, my confidence and my mental blocks are now gone and I feel that I can perform better now.

Moving on, here are my predictions for this Saturday's UFC, Pride of a champion
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Halverson vs Gurgel
I say Gurgel can win this by submission in the first round.

Bielkheiden vs Sanchez
I don't know much about Bielkheiden, but Sanchez had a bad year last year like many other great fighters =(. He fought Koscheck with a staph infection and fought Fitch to a very controversial split decision. Hopefully Sanchez will win with a ground and pound or submissions

Hazelett vs Koscheck
Koscheck by UD

Fiorvanti vs Cummo
Cummo by TKO in 2nd round

O'Brien vs Arlovski
OK, they are both coming off wins that qualified for yellow cards to DQ. Hopefully Arlovski by knock out. I hope he ends O'Briens career and re-injures him.

Wilson vs Fitch
I say Fitch by TKO or submission in the first two rounds

Okami vs Tanner
If Tanner can initiate a good and effective offense from the start, he can pull it off. Okami is just a VERY SLOW starter that not many people take advantage of. Mike Swick could have easily beaten him if he just came out swinging. Okami is tough, but it's just he comes across easy to pressure. But Okami is a tricky southpaw so you never know.

Sakara vs Leben
Leben by KO in the first two rounds

Herring vs Kongo
I say this fight can go either way. I want Herring to win.

Silva vs Henderson
Henderson has the chin to go the distance. Silva is now a BJJ black belt though he has been submitted by fighters who don't have a great record. But on the other hand, Silva's performance in the Japanese circuits is more underrated. He beat Sakurai, Newton, and Horn. But I Silva by decision.

Henderson should go back to 205 where he has more potential match ups. But I've heard stories he wants to stay at 185 because he doesn't want to fight bigger guys anymore
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In other news, I will be going on a family vacation to Germany next week. I'll have posts and pictures up when I get back. Also, I'm finally applying to back to Japan again this year.I really want to go back. I know I can get it. I just need to get my notice of whether or not I got my interview or not. I'm really anxious. I felt last time, I couldn't really live up to my own expectations and potential. Now that I'm older and more mature and wiser and more humble, I know I can make it a more beneficial experience. I really like the program with the sister cities, and sure as hell offers way better pay and benefits than frickin' heart ever did.

Anyway, wish me luck.

9:57pm: Rambo kicked ass!!
Got back from seeing Rambo. Man, that movie exceeded my expectations. It's brutally violent. It's not about violence, it's about using it. And they use it under the right context(s). It's more about the message and themes. So go see it

8:48pm: Thoughts on UFC 80 and predictions on UFC Fight Night
I have a feeling Kendall Grove is going to be on a road like Vitor Belfort. Then again, even great fighters like Rampage had their decline and then came back to become champions. I had a lot of expectations on Grove when he won the Ultimate Fighter, and he's lost to people I never expected him to lose to. Maybe he has some curse against TUF 4 season contestants for something. But Rivera gave him no chance and was pressing the action from the start and wanted it to end ASAP. But the left straight that did him in really buckled under his knees.

Lambert vs Gouveria was also an awesome fight. Lambert was winning the first round with relative ease and thought the fight was on its way to ending anytime soon...in his favor..Then in the opening seconds of round 2, Govera got the left hook in and knocked out Lambert out of England. That was either a well timed hook, or a lucky punch. Either way that was a great action packed fight with one helluva come back KO. But that match showed anything can always happen in MMA.

Taylor vs Kelly was awesome a graet fight. It was back and forth non-stop action. That fight did represent the spirit to Bushido to some extent. I was amazed by their performances.

Davis vs Liadin was also an entertaining fight. The left straight-right hook combination is one of my favorite moves as well I like to practice. But the left he got Liadin in was well timed and came in at an odd angle. But it worked. Sure Davis could be a force in a welterweight division, but GSP is in another class of his own. Then again, Serra came in as a heavy underdog and he clobbered GSP.

I really didn't pick anybody between Gonzaga and Werdum. I say Gonzaga had better stand up and Werdum had the ground advantage. Seeing how Werdum is Crocop's BJJ teacher, I guess he avenged him, lol. But Gonzaga showed he had powerful leg kicks. I thought knowing Werdum, he was going to try the Karo Parysian counter strategy like he did against Chonan. But he showed he could defend them in round 2 and did it with effectiveness. Every time Gonzaga had Werdum now. He obviously wanted nothing to do with him on the ground. But a lot of what Werdum did to beat Gonzaga was similar to how Couture beat him. I guess Couture set the blue print to beat Gozaga the way he fights now.

Penn vs Stevenson was crazy. My brother and I were yelling like crazy when we saw Stevenson bled like fuck. I thought they should have stopped the fight. I really like Stevenson. I think he's a funny guy and a great fighter. But Penn is just a whole other world that not many people can take on. As for the fight with Sherk. I say Penn is going to school Sherk if Penn comes in and gives his best.

I say for Mike Swick vs Burkman, I see Swick will win if he does his thing like he should have against Okami. I thought Swick had plenty of chances to beat Okami and had the style to. I think he should stay at 185 though I heard he naturally weighs 175!!! The 170 division is too deep of a pool and Swick has beaten some names at 185 (Riggs, Loseau). I think it will work better for Swick's career and he'll stick out more. But maybe he could fight Davis. That would be a crazy fight.

Cote vs McFedders. Until Cote's fight with Grove, I never thought Cote had what it took to finish a fight. But Cote always improves. I think Cote can win if he keeps his progress up by a knock out. The man has the knock out power and little by little, he knows how to utilize it more. I say Cote has what it takes to become most improved fighter.

Diaz vs Robinson. I say Diaz wins by submission.

Omigawa vs Tavares. I thought Tavares was screwed against Tyson Griffin. I thought he won that fight. I know more about him then Omigawa, so I'll go for him.

Peggernegro vs Crane. They have both put on exciting fights in their last respective bouts. Pellernegro is more well rounded and Crane is more jiujitsu based. I say Pellernegro by decision. But I say this will be a very exciting technical fight. I expect that much.

I heard Florian and Lauzon will be fighting in the next Fight Night in April. That will be n interesting fight. It will be a new test for Lauzon. I slightly give it to Florian for experience, but Lauzon is now training with BJ Penn. So I see thsi fight can go either way.

I also heard Hammill and Bonnar will also fight on teh same card. Tht will be a crazy ass fight.

11:15pm: My thoughts on UFC Nemesis
Just got back from the bar watching UFC Nemesis, and I must say, I was impressed and call it one of the best cards so far this year and what a great way for the UFC to leave 2007. Now time to talk about what I thoughts and analysis.

Rich Clementi vs. Melvin Gullard
I have never liked Gullard ever since I saw him on the 2nd season of TUF. He was obnoxious and acted stupid and I think he's overrated. Granted he has knock out power and the only win I enjoy of his was when he knocked out Gabe "Cake Boy" Rudiger. Clementi just laid the smack down on his candy ass. It was funny he crotch chopped Melvin after choking him out and Melvin still wanted more. I hope Gullard retires.

Eddie Sanchez vs Sao Palelei
Very excellent fight. Granted they are not really big names right now, but they put on an excellent fight thought it was mostly Sanchez who controlled it though Palelei did put up a fight. Palelei has a tough chin, but he needs cardio and technique. Hopefully he'll learn from this fight and come back better. I say he has what it takes to be UFC's Mark Hunt if they can't sign Mark Hunt. Sanchez just landed big shots and Palelei was still standing. But Sanchez showed more refined technique and more disciplined cardio. If Palelei had that, he could have had a better performance.

Ryoto Machida vs Sokoudjou
Sokoudjou did make Machida look like he was in trouble early in the fight, but Machida was just a better striker. Sokoudjou's two KOs were against more grappler based fighters though Little Nog is currently concentrating on boxing. One punch power tricks are going to work if they land of course, but Machida has a solid defense and over all better technique. I liked the butterfly sweep that Machida did on Sokodjou and he really showed his ground game. I was impressed with Machida against a big name like Sokoudjou though he's young. I say Sokoudjou needs to work on his cardio because he was gassed when he tapped.

I say Machida gets the winner of Griffin vs Jackson. Machida is 4-0 in the UFC and is still consistently undefeated, and has beaten 2 UFC title holders granted they were lighter, but Machida beat a big 205 fighter in Sokodjou tonight baby!

WAR MACHIDA!!!

Chuck Liddell vs Wanderlei Silva
I'll admit Silva lost, but WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE JUDGES THINKING!!!??? How does two of them give Liddell a 30-27 fight? Silva CLEARLY HAD round 2. He had the knock downs and had what you could officially have "octagon control" and was landing more clean and effective strikes. Are those two the same judges that thought he beat Jardine!!?? I thought this fight was in Las Vegas, not in Southern California.

But putting that aside, it was a great fight. I thought both fighters had opportunities to finish it by knock out. But I was dissapointed in Wanderlei for not utilizing his trademark clinch when he had the chance. Especially in round 2. The times Chuck was down, I wish stomps on the ground were allowed, lol. But some people think the cage was a factor. I can see that, but I think it's a small reason compared to what cost Wanderlei the fight. It's Wanderlei's own fault for not properly finishing the fight when he could have. Wanderlei could have finished the fight.

For the cut, it was nasty, but it's not like Wandy has bleeded exessively before, you know?

But I thought it was interseting to see Chuck Liddell go for the take down. He just did it to show off his wrestling ability. Silva showed great take down defense against Arona in the 2nd fight. You can't blame him for not expecting him to do something like that for fun.

But overall, it was an action packed fight, and lived to the hype of being one, but Wanderlei just didn't live up to my expectations of what he could have done to finish that fight. It's just an example of you should never let a fight go into the judges hands.

WAR SILVA

Hughes vs GSP
Hughes by the end of the first round was simply doomed. GSP showed his wrestling skills against Koscheck, and Koscheck in terms of accomplishments is a far superior wrestler than Hughes. Hughes was simply outclassed again to a nasty armbar to a fighter who is also more well rounded....while Hughes is just a 170 pound version of Mark Coleman more tailor fitted to modern day MMA standards. Hughes is just too old, and the new generation is taking over. Hughes no longer has anything to prove, so I think he can retire now.

Overall, excellent card. Can't wait for the DVD!!!

7:01am: Predictions for UFC 79: Nemesis
I'm a semi-fan of Dean Lister and he's on the card, sadly, his fight won't be televised =(. I hope he wins. I know Melvin Guillard is back. I can't stand him and he's a disgrace to MMA. I hope he gets knocked out. Manny Gamburyan makes his come back fight and I hope he wins too. Anyway, here are my predictions of what will be televised.

Sokoudjou vs Machida

I say whoever gets their rhythm in will win. Machida has fought a lot of smaller guys so his chin against big guys like Soko is not tested. Little Nog lasted the distance against Shogun and showed his chin, but Soko knocked him out in 30 seconds and made short work of his friend Arona. I say this fight can go either way. But Machida has great technique and defense. If Soko can't get hit power in, I see Machida pulling out a decision. If Soko wants to win, he'll need to finish it quickly.

George St. Pierre vs Matt Hughes III

I say this can go either way. I'm leaning torwards Hughes because I think he's in better shape and more prepared. But GSP is hungry. But I want Hughes to win so I can see him fight Serra. Then agian, that entire season TUF wasn't that great. I knew from the start that Danzig was going to wipe the floor with the competition, and I was right and that's what made it a semi-bad season in addition that the coaches may not fight each other.

Anyway, if GSP sticks to his striking and stand up, he can win this. But GSP has solid take down defense and Hughes doesn't have much stand up in his repertoire.

Wanderlei Silva vs. Chuck Liddell

Jackson set the blue print of how to beat Liddell in the first fight. Jardine used the same strategies and Wanderlei can use that too.

10:35pm: Thoughts on UFC 77
Starnes vs Felchman

Great fight. Too bad it stopped cuz of a nasty gash =(. Felchman is a great kickboxer. He could be the next one to take on Anderson Silva. Starnes showed some great boxing skills but I think he could have won if it were more ground concentrated. I wouldn't be surprised to see a rematch. It'll take time for Starnes to heal up from that.

Bonnar vs whoever that guy was and I don't care

I knew Bonnar was going to have the stand up advantage and was more well rounded. Bonnar was great and shows he's back. Interesting he's now training partners with Forrest Griffin under his old coach from the first season of TUF. But Bonnar was in trouble for a bit when he almost gave up his back but I knew he'd get out of it.

Gurgel vs Robinson

First round I don't get why they didn't stand them back up. Call me Pride-biased as usual, but neither fighter was getting anywhere. Then round 2 and 3 come along and Gurgel is getting his ass kicked and he's going after the same fucking arm bar over and over. A true BJJ blackbelt would have gone for more submissions. Like a Kimura, or a triagnle or an omoplata. Robinson had an excellent omoplata but let it go. Gurgel knows how to take damage, but too unncessarily. If Gurgel had better wrist control and ground game, he could have gotten a submission.

Vera vs Sylvia

Too bad about Vera's hand. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference though. Sylvia didn't stop looking good until the last round. But the referee stepped in way late in terms of breaking up the John Ruiz fest that took up a huge majority of the fight. Vera was always easily getting cornered and then clinched. But the take down he got was impressive but too bad he couldn't do much in the side position.

And too bad the gay ass rules of American MMA makes that knee he did illegal. I knew it was unintentional, but man, I wish knees like that were allowed.

Franklin vs Silva II

Franklin, yes did much better and defended the clinch. But people tend to fail to realize that Silva has more than just a mad clinch game with devastating knees. He's got long limbs like those Dutch fighters so it makes him very effective and very flexible if at all goes to the ground. Granted yes, maybe his ground game sucks a bit. Takase did manage to get him in that triangle farily easily and Lutter did get a mount. But he's shown tremendous improvement.

I loved how he dodged all of Franklin's punches like nothing. I thought he had him in the end of the first round.

The way Franklin came in throwing punches, being a southpaw fighting another southpaw, from the direction and how he was circling it was as if he was fighting against a right handed fighter. If Silva was right handed, Franklin could have landed most of those punches.

But Silva just destroyed him again. I don't see anybody except Henderson de-throning Silva or if Dana White takes back what he said about Kang. But UFC did sign Chonan but too bad he's fighting at 170. Hopefully they can give him a rematch.

Okami I heard won his fight, but have yet to see that fight. Maybe Okami will fight Feltchman next or something, who knows.

8:31pm: UFC 77 predictions
I'll post a real entry when I have the time.

Josh Burkman vs Forrest Petz
-I don't know much about Petz but I'll give it to Burkman by whatever. UD, SD, knockout, submission. I give the fight to him.

Yushin Okami vs Jason MacDonald
-On paper this seems like a good match up. MacDonald if he works fast from the start can beat Okami. Swick and Franklin could have easily worked Okami if they came wild from the start. Especially Swick. I think Swick can beat him if given a rematch despite how badly dominated he was in round 3. Okami is a slow starter so if this goes all 3 rounds, he'll either win by UD or late round ground and pound. Okami is a slow fighter. Not boring, but still effective and all fights I've seen him in, I don't really see his weaknesses taken fully advantage of.

Jorge Gurgel vs Alvin Robinson
-Robinson got beat by Florian. Gurgel is also like Florian where he has a good mix of BJJ and Muay Thai so I give it to Gurgel by knockout or submission.Probably Gurgel by early submission. I would like to see a future match up between Gurgel and Florian considering their similar styles.

Kalib Starnes vs Alan Belcher
-I give this to Starnes via UD

Stephan Bonnar vs Eric Schafer
-Bonnar by UD or TKO

Brandon Vera vs Tim Sylvia
-I want Vera to win but I can see how Sylvia will try to wi....I mean not to lose. So please, Vera by submission. Break Sylvia's arm worse than Mir did.

Franklin vs Silva
-If Franklin learned from anything in his fight with Okami, he has a better chance. But judging by his performance in that fight, he ain't going past the first round. Franklin made the mistake of going for the clinch in the first fight with Silva, but then again, Silva has more than a clinch and devastating knees. If Franklin goes 100%, he could probably win, but I give it to Silva for now for 2nd round KO or 3rd round KO

5:42pm: Otaku University
Yesterday and Saturday is all here

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Vf7pvrkv5f0

10:42pm: My thoughts on UFC 76 Knockout
Thiago vs Tyson

Thigao was pushing the action and had the take downs and the positions and the submission attempts. Tyson had the ground and pound. The first round was just like Big Nog's fights with Fedor where he had an open guard and bam comes in the bombs. 2nd and 3rd round Thiago had the positions and the submission attempts. I thought they were both very close but the non-definitive scoring system just favored Tyson way too much IMO. If this were under Pride rules, I thought Thiago would have been given the decision.

Nakamura vs Machida

Machida was just dominating Nakamura. Nakamura took some nasty shots but he took them like a man. He's proven himself against tough strikers and Machida was no different. Nakamura showed a descent ground game but wasn't enough to beat Machida who showed his stuff. Machida has never finished his opponents in the UFC, but you can't blame him for beating some descentley touch guys. Sam Hoger with the exemption of his non-counted loss to Griffin on TUF has never been stopped himself either.

I think Machida is ready for Griffin, a rematch with Bonnar, or probably he can fight Bisping or Evans. I say fight Bisping but not in England. Somebody's 0 has got to go. Machida now needs a bigger name opponent. He's already beaten two UFC title holders. He deserves more.

Sanchez vs Fitch

I say the same thing about this fight. I'm glad Diego showed class. I guess under these circumstances, I have to accept Diego's loss too. I personally gave the fight to Diego. Everybody here knows I tend to favor Pride's shows, fighters, and judging system much much much more. I say Diego under pride conditions would have gotten the decision. The same reasons why Thiago should have gotten the decision. He had the better submissions and was closer to finishing the fight in the 3rd round with the guilliotine and the triangle. Fitch was just blanketing him and his punches in that round was doing no damage.

Round 2 I give to Fitch with his ground and pound. Personally, I thought the referee should have stood them up to a certain point which I was pissed off about in that fight. But I can see under the gay ass 10 point must system why Fitch would have won. I still think it's a lame way to judge fights. Especially when it really favors the take down artist more. It really gives no favoritism to submissions and all that stuff. And 10 minute rounds really help the submissions fighter as well.

Griffin vs Shogun

I'll accept Shogun lost unless there was a freak accident like BJ Penn vs Hughes II where he somehow injured his ribs but like I said earlier, it was the take downs that really hurt him. At least Serra learned that from the Hughes vs GSP II fight. I say Shogun should have just gone for the Muay Thai clinch for the start and do what he does best with the knees. I think Shogun could have eventually won with the stand up if he kept it there. Shogun was ranked 1st at 205 and he was beaten by Griffin, a huge ass underdog. I was impressed with Griffin. He finished Shogun with a rear naked choke and dominated him. I say he could fight Jackson next.

Jardine vs Liddell

I gave this 30-27 Jardine. Jardine mixed in the strategy with how Jackson beat Liddell the first time but rushing in and landing punches and bunches with his leg kicks and body kicks to get the decision. For the most part, Jardine did an excellent job but being a bit more defensive and keeping his chin tucked though he did let loose in round 2. Jardine really learned from his loss with Alexander and maybe this sets up a rematch with him or he could fight another big name contender. Liddell should have kept him cornered and just do the strategies he did on Tito. I think both fighters had what it took to finish but they did their best and put on a great show.

And for an event called Knock out, all of the (televised) events didn't end in a knock out =(

I say Griffin's and Jardine's victories put TUF fighters a good place. I never really criticized TUF guys that much since I think winners would have ended up as top contenders in the UFC with or without the show.

I'll accept that Diego lost like I said, it's just the judging I have a problem with. I'm glad Joe Rogan addressed the issue of scoring in American MMA rules. It was semi-ballsy of him to do so. Josh Barnett has been a HEAVY critic of it. NSAC rules won't allow yellow card system because of how it fines people, but Barnett is right. It allows more exciting fights. Also, it doesn't favor the wrestler or take down guy way too much. Is that why Shogun was going for way too many take downs? I think Diego has great cardio to do all that shit he did, but I think he could have won standing. He showed his stand up against somebody like Riggs, why couldn't he do the same with Fitch?

It was a sad day for a Pride fan like me to see Shogun lose. Then Liddell also lost. I wonder if the 205 division has a definite no. 1 contender right now. I say Wandy could fight Jackson next. I did always expect Jackson to beat Shogun in a potential rematch, but Griffin beating Shogun? That was crazy!!! Whoever betted on Jardine and Shogun must have won A SHIT LOAD of money.

6:45am: My thoughts on UFC Fight Night, TUF season 6, and predictions for UFC 76
I will start off with Wednesday's Ultimate Fight Night. I wish I could have seen the under card. Especially with Maynard's knockout within like 5 seconds. Cole Miller and Leonard Garcia must have been awesome. Garcia gave Huerta a tough tough. Miller has a reputation of finishing all of his opponents but Garcia was the first to go the distance with him. I hope Miller is ready for the next level. I'm also a Luke Cummo fan, glad he won his fight. This sounds like a fight card where EVERY fight should have been televised. I wonder when they will put Ultimate Fight Night events on DVD.

Now for the televised card itself

Nate Quarry vs Pete Sell-
-Well, Quarry is back and I guess he either showed major ass ring rust of Sell just simply showed improvement. I had Sell winning the fight up until Quarry got him on the button. The first round was a tough one to call. I think Sell slightly landed more hits so I gave it to him. I thought Quarry was knocked out in round 2 so I can see why the first stoppage was controversial to some extent in comparison to what happened. Quarry still looked wobbly after he got up, but he did his best and of course Sell won the 2nd.

Then round 3. Like 30 seconds later and bam right on the button and Sell is out cold.

Quarry showed that he has good leg kicks. He still has his style of where he picks his shots but he always keeps his hands too low. I think with his style he could use a better defense. It was a medium paced fight. It was not too slow but Quarry is the type to just simply pick his shots and look for openings.

Nate Diaz vs. Junior

Nate is 100% like his brother but of course isn't 100% him. His striking isn't as accurate or as clean as Nick's but it was awesome how he landed all of those shots to set up his guillotine choke. Nate tends to be very reliant on his jiujitsu way too much. He was really like that against Maynard and Corey Hill while he fought on TUF where he just only used jiujitsu to beat them. It's like he used them as sparring partners or something. His jiujitsu is good but wasn't on the same level of Alberto Crane when he fought Roger Huerta. He's got the tools to have a well rounded game, but just needs to use them much more effectively. Great submission win by Diaz. I don't think he can handle Sherk with the skills he gots now.

Chris Leben vs Terry Martin
-Leben's stance and the position of his hands are much better now. I was impressed by his performance though he did gas out in round 3. Martin is a pretty big guy and Leben always had that reputation of even knocking out people who normally fight at 205. I remember Mike Goldberg called Leben "iron jawed." I think he forgot how Anderson Silva knocked out him in less than 30 seconds. Then again, there's a difference between being weak chinned and your opponent hits like a mule. But with Silva dominating that weight class, he's going no where. I heard he could drop to 170 but there's too much deep talent in that while at 185 the champion is too dominant. But Leben with how he is now can be a descent gatekeeper. I hope he doesn't end up back on a losing streak.

Kenny Florian vs Din Thomas
-As usual, I am always impressed with Florian's improvement. He is like a 155 Anderson Silva in terms of tools. Great mix of kickboxing and jiujitsu but lack wrestling. He just did what he had to and got the win as I expected.

I say Florian needs to work with BJ Penn and Randy Couture if he does get a rematch with Sherk to work on his take down defense. But then again, if BJ Penn does get a fight, I don't see Sherk taking down BJ Penn if Hughes couldn't take him down before the freak accident.

Overall, great card.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ultimate Fighter season 6

I think this will be a good season. I'm picking Mac Danzig to win the whole thing. Afterall, he's the only fighter I'm most familiar with. I think it sucked that one guy got injured and had to leave. I'm not sure how he would have done, but I think he'll be back. Dana likes guys with a serious warrior attitude. Even Ross Pointon who has a shitty ass record gets the respect for Dana because of his positive attitude. It would have been awesome of Hughes got Militech is one of his assistant coaches and Serra got Renzo Gracie. It would be like UFC's version of IFL to some extent. It would be awesome.

I think both coaches picked who was best. I think it was natural for Serra to pick his student regardless of Hughes' mind games. Hughes I think is doing what I call a "Contender" strategy. In the first season of contender, the east coast team seemed to have the better fighters, but the mid carder level fighters like Gomez and Brinkley were picking out the toughest fighters like Manfredo and Reid. Hughes' top guy, Danzig fights Serra's top guy, Rick. I thought it was a descent fight and shows why I think Danzig is going to be this season's Ultimate Fighter.

The previews of the season makes it look really wild and I'm looking forward to what happens and why those crazy ass fights and the general wildness at the house happens. I don't blame those guys from what Jesse told me when he was there for season 3. You got NOTHING to do at the house. No TV, no reading, no internet, no cell phones. NOTHING!!! He says people go crazy and you'll go crazy. I just feel bad for them. Andy Wang said in an interview after season 5 that when got his cell phone back, he got all these weird text messages that said where he's been and he joked that he's now a father of 5 kids, lol.

I'm not sure if I'd do TUF. I need to have the experience and credentials like past winners had like Sanchez, Stevenson, and Diaz had. I think Serra is a good coach, but Hughes gots the best fighters. I don't think Serra and Hughes will have serious drama like Penn/Pulver and Shamrock/Ortiz in past seasons but I think it'll be interesting when they fight in December.

now onto my predictions for UFC 76
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jardine vs Liddell

Jardine has a weak chin despite his large frame. I say Liddell wins this 2nd round by knock out. But Jardine despite his chin still hits like a mule. If his power is at all like Jackson's, he could knock out Liddell. Jardine did make the mistake of looking past Houston Alexander so I hope these two fighters who are coming off HUGE losses can still do something tonight. I don't know how fast are willing the UFC is willing to make another Jackson vs Liddell fight but the 205 division is getting better fighters and it'd suck if they pass Liddell over superior fighters with who I am about to talk about next.

Shogun vs Griffin

Griffin's only chance at winning is if Shogun soccer kicks him or knees him on the ground. Griffin lost to Jardine of all people. I don't know about a lucky punch can help him, but this is all I can say. Or maybe Shogun will dislocate his arm. Those are the only 3 ways I know of that Griffin can beat Shogun. RIP Forrest Griffin. I hope you have life insurance.

Ah yes, a fight between the 2005 Grand Prix winner against the first season of TUF's winner. Shogun in his tournament fight the best the 205 division has to offer. He beat the current UFC title holder Rampage, he beat Little Nog, then he beat Overeem who has a victory over Randy Couture, and he beat Ricardo Arona who was fresh off beating Silva. Griffin beat Alex Schonauer and Sam Hoger and then Stephan Bonnar who was close to his level on the show. Griffin beat 2 bums and a mediocre (but still decentley exciting) journeyman. Shogun's opponents were all champions in their own right. I say Shogun in this case can handle the cage and hopefully he won't look past his opponent like Crocop did against Gonzaga or have another freak accident.

Then again, Shogun's loss to Coleman is sure something. Coleman is the first fighter ever to be a UFC and Pride champion.

Machida vs Nakamura

Machida by decision. Nakamura is a good fighter who knows how to give his opponent a run for his money but I don't see him in a contender stage. Machida has great striking, but doesn't have a descent KO rate. He has beaten 2 former UFC title holders and I think he deserves a better push by the UFC. Too bad they couldn't have Shogun vs Machida =(. I hope they fight each other next. It is 100% guaranteed who could fight Jackson next.

Fitch vs Sanchez

If the real Diego is back at 100%, he can probably win this by late round ground and pound or submission, or get a convincing UD. Fitch is good but Diego at 100% is at a whole different level. Too bad he was fighting with a staph infection against that dumb ass Koscheck.

8:50pm: My thoughts on UFC 75, the Contender season 3, and other stuff in life
OK, I'll start off by talking about Saturday's UFC 75. Overall, it was a terrific event. I'll break it down.

The Allesio Sakara vs Houston Alexander fight was crazy. I thought Alexander was lucky against Jardine (then again, he has a majorly weak chin) but he made short work of Sakara who I picked to win. Even though I picked the wrong guy, it was still a great fight. I like to see Alexander now fight a TUF guy now. Like Griffin or Bonnar.

The Marcus Davis fight was awesome too. I forgot his opponent's name, but all I remember he was a brit. The Brit knocked down Marcus Davis was a high kick and got some ground and pound on him. I thought they were going to stop the fight but it kept going. But Davis turned things around and won by an armbar. It was one of the best first round fights I've ever seen.

Crocop vs Kongo. Goddamit Crocop!! What the fuck happened to you!? Does England give you back luck or what!? I heard you injured your rib or some shit like that so I guess we can forgive you. Too bad the cage worked against you. I saw you did some jiujitsu. But you let go of the triangle!!! You have 3 fights on your contract left. MAKE EVERY FIGHT COUNT!!!!

Bisping vs Hammill. BULLSHIT DECISION!!! THOSE JUDGES SHOULD BE SHOT!!! Bisping got a hometown decision. He showed no class when he knew he lost. Hammill won EVERY round on my scored card easily. He was landing more punches and got the take downs. Bisping was running from Hammill the entire fucking fight.

Quinton Jackson vs Dan Henderson is a classic. Will there be a rematch? Lets hope so. But I say with Wanderlei, Shogun, and Machida in the mix, I say Henderson should go down to 185. He already said he hated fighting bigger guys anyway.

The 2 episodes of the Contender aired so far have been alright. I think the talent they recruited from their Super Middleweight season is pretty descent. But I don't like the evaluatoins with sparq's exercise program. It's seriously stupid. Especially when the guy who ranked highest in power only has 2 knockouts on his record. Fucking bullshit. Like the challenges from season 1 were not very determinal of a boxer's ability. It was all trivial bullshit. Alfonso Gomez always looked terrible in them and he got 3rd place!!!

But the fight with Brian Vera and Jaidon Cordington tonight was very cool. I was picking Jaidon to win and he fucked knocked Vera the fuck out in the 2nd round. He totally killed him. Unless you're Allan Green, I'd like to see who can stop Cordington. Fuck, I can't believe Cordington is 19 days older than me!!! Just seeing Cordington who is my age and the rest of the guys is season 5 of Ultimate Fighter doing this just makes me look back on myself. But I'll talk about that later.

Just been feeling sick off and on so I can't really train that often as I would like to. But I'm feeling better now and I went to jiujitsu practice yesterday and kickboxing practice today. So things have been going back to normal for me.

Alright enough about fighting, and more about me.

Normally, I sleep with the TV on or I pop in a DVD. It really helps me take my mind off things before I go to sleep and it really helps me. If I had a hard day, and I don't got the TV on, then I have trouble sleeping and all my problems just become distracted. I'd be lucky if I get any sleep. Say I put in a comedy like Beavis and Butt-head, I can just concentrate on the humor and it just helps me relax and fall asleep. It's just last night, I just went to sleep pretty easily without the TV on and I have a crazy dream where I'm still after my last girlfriend. I really don't need her coming back into my life or the thought of her. It took me awhile to get over it. I went to sleep at 9 last night, and I woke up at 2 this morning and couldn't sleep for 2 hours. I decide to check my e-mails and myspace during that time. Then my mom wakes me up late that I was late in taking my brother to school.

Interesting I've been having that dream lately. I haven't had a dream about Fumie in like over a year. It just really hurts me when I have to think about her.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5lGMt_xBh7A

Anyway, I'm just getting old. I watch TUF season 5 and see all those guys were around my age and had lengthy careers. I don't know if it had anything to do with fooling around in high school too much or in my youth, but it really sucks you find something you want to do with your life and you may not have time for it because you really start and at a relatively old age. I know Nate Quarry and Rich Franklin started in their mid-20s and had mediocre successful careers, but I don't know what I can achieve by starting my true training before I turned 22. I started my boxing training at 21 and did my kickboxing and jiujitsu a few months later. Then I had a six month lay off. I don't know if I can do it now.

Well, here is something Brandon said to cheer me up

"my explanation to these judgemental people is that it is a dedication to test yourself physically and mentally, they will never understand because they are afraid to take risks, they are content with their normal boring routine lives, but that shit ain't for me, whatever i choose as a profession it's going to be crazy, and somewhere in there i'll find the woman or women of dreams!!!!"

Anyway Brandon, thanks.

I wanted to post more, but I'm just tired. Time to put in a DVD

11:44pm: An entry for all my friends in life, flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood, all in one
Just the other day, I made a list of who were my enemies and friends from childhood to now. I used to think I would hate more people and have more enemies than good friends. It turned out the good friends I have my whole life strongly outnumber those people I hated and fought with in my youth. I believe it's now time to make an entry in dedication for all my friends to see how I feel about them.

I'll start with Mike Hosler.

We've been together since the sixth grade the second semester. We bunked together in science camp. We shared the same row on the bus to Colorado in our last week of sixth grade and you kept on playing pranks on me even though it was annoying the fuck out of me, I see you were just playing. We had a lot of good times, and only a couple of bad times together. Usually the bad times we both had bad moods.

Then in seventh grade, we started losing the crew we built in sixth grade. Ryan no longer hung out with us. Brandon moved away. Then Paul moved away before Thanksgiving during the seventh grade. You made fun of me when I was going through puberty because of my voice changes before seventh grade ended and I was like "Shut the fuck up!"

Sure Gilbert Jr. was a fucking hell hole and didn't have too many good memories of those times in school except when we were the ones kicking ass. Probably our greatest scandal was the rennicance festival. They were charging game tickets for like $5 for 3 tickets. Then you told me we could get a roll of those same tickets at the same price at Party City and that's what we did. We bought like thousands of tickets and we got to play all the games and ate all the food. We totally ripped off the school when they tried to rip us off.

But our great memories was outside of school. When we stayed up on Friday or Saturday nights playing N64 wrestling games against Derrick and Casey. Those were crazy ass times. Then we used to play wrestle and record them. Do you have those videos? We gotta watch them and put them on youtube!!! I remember some weekends, we'd listen to Offspring and White Zombie and sing and air guitar to them. Their music back then kicked ass. Too bad they suck now. I remember when we wanted to go to the Korn and Rob Zombie concert our Freshman year of high school but our moms wouldn't let us because it was a fucking school night.

I also remember watching Beavis and Butt-head late at night and we used their vocabulary at each other and other people and call them bungholes or ass wipes.

Then high school came along we went to different schools. You went to highland, I went to Gilbert. Despite that, we still hung out like we always did on the weekends and still had a lot of fun. I also remembered when you moved to Illinois in the 10th grade and you came back the following year and told me how much Illinois sucked! Remember when I tried to get you to hook me up with Cheryl on our senior year? Man, did that plan fail and it made things worse when I got my license suspended.

Man 11 1/2 years later and we're still the best of friends. I know that will never end. I totally enjoyed the time you got caught with a fake ID and you had to take alcohol refrainment classes and we'd celebrate your graduation of that class with a couple of cold ones. But too bad we could never get that party off the ground.

Kind of sucks we're old now. But hey, we can drink legally now!!! I'm sure more happy memories are going to come and come.

To Jackie Winfield. You were the first friend I made in high school. I was a freshman and you were a senior. It was kind of weird. Anime wasn't that popular as it was now, and it was really cool to meet another anime fan. Japanese class was really fun. It was nice getting to know you. I used to be shy around girls but being friends with an older girl like you helped me overcome my shyness. Not saying I had the hots for you, but being able to make friends with a senior when I was a freshman just made things more comfortable for me. You taught me the ways of the high school heiarchy and let me enjoy the same pleasures a senior had such as seating and being part of the loudest group at the pep assembly and it made me feel like a winner because I wasn't sitting with the un-enthusiastic freshmen =P. Then I lost that enthusiasm when those fellow freshman became seniors and were still acting the same =P. It's real interesting to hear from you after 5 years I graduated from high school and you're now a mom!!!

To Dora Wagner. You really gave me something to look forward to. Before I was your student, I really couldn't do much of anything. I wasn't the most motivated or enthusiastic student in any subject. But taking your class and somehow magically being your top student and one of very few students to have exceeded 100%. I think I wouldn't have succeeded to wear I am in my life without you. Even when there was a time I lost my drive I could never fail you or get anything below 100%. Even after graduating not only high school, but college, I still find time to visit you or contact you and even invite you and your husband to my parties and even get to meet some of your old students I was classmates with. Without taking your classes for 3 years, I have no idea where the fuck I'd be right now. I'd probably be married and divorced. I knew I would have never would have went to Hiroshima when I was 17 and meet all those crazy dudes and gals. I'd probably would not have worked at Tsuchiura last year. I'd probably still not know what the fuck I'd be doing with my life. You are one of the friends that I give my life to because without your presence, I wouldn't have a life.

Lily McGuire. You were the first serious girlfriend I had though I was in high school and you were at ASU. Prior to that, I just went on some dates and none of those girls really had any interest of me. I was in my DDR prime and wanted some of my help. You were shopping with some friends and we talked for awhile and I walked you to your car after talking about playing DDR at each other's houses. I remember a week later was your birthday and Arizona Mills had that one carnival in the parking lot that week and we went. You were wearing that sun dress I bought for you at JC Penny outlet. Our last ride was the ferris wheel and we went out to just relax. And I made up that stupid story about if a couple kisses on the very top, they stay together forever just to tease you and we actually did it. And I said I made it up and you got mad at me but was just teasing me too. I had no idea I could say things like that and we started going out for four months keeping it a secret from our families and most of our friends. Man, your parents were pissed when they found out about us. But I don't think you're any different from David or Trey.

I remember most of the time, we'd just rent movies. Like lots of Jackie Chan and other Kung Fu flicks. I remember after we broke up, we didn't talk for almost 3 months. I thought I'd never see you again, but seeing I still had your number still stored in my cell at the time, I gave you a call and we actually talked about ourselves more. It was really strange that when we were dating, we never talked much about ourselves or how we grew up. It was a serious relationship, but not really that open. We were more about THAT thing then just a relationship. Man, I remember you told me you had a criminal record and spent time in juvie for assault, fighting, speeding, and vandalism. It didn't really upset me because you were cleaned for a couple of years and you never did anything bad than just date a younger bum like me. Plus, I never talked much about myself and my scrapping days either and how Mike and I scammed the school during the festival. It's not really sad we didn't use our time to get to know each other in that kind of way, but still really strange.

We were just about having fun and spending time together and saying we loved each other. Unlike other girls I've met and dated, at least you'd be the most understanding of my personality. I'm sure if we the same age, we'd be together still. But defenitley not married!!! At least you had good taste in music and wouldn't listen to the shit MTV as producing. We'd listen to Smash album Offspring, Nimrod album Green Day, and Rob Zombie.

Justina Tam. You are really nice and cute. I don't know if I ever did like you back then but somethings told me I probably still felt something for you. My mind told me one thing, my heart told me another, and my soul was saying all this gibberish and the wind and wherever my feet took me was my only guide up until that point. But I cared about you enough that I'd still protect you and be with you. I'm old fashioned that way because of I spent up until that point fighting with people all the time and I developed this spirit where I know honor and debt still have a place in my morals and ethics. I didn't know if I was a lover or a fighter at that point. But you were a kind person to me and knew how to tolerate my childish, loud, foul-mouthed, obnoxious, mysterious, and strange personality like no other person could. I thought a person like you would be a great girlfriend, but you were way too good for a punk like me. I thought being your friend, I'd drag you down, but I guess I was wrong. It's just being with you, I knew that I kicked my self way too much and I knew more about the better side of me. Something I could never have felt with some of my best friends. It's just for the first time in my life, I could really feel hope.

I remember when we first met in Ms. Wagner's class as well. We were also the only two people that didn't make fun of Mrs. McCuley, our English teacher in 10th grade. She was a nice person and she was easy to make laugh. We were the only two students she could rely on for crying out loud. I remember she was offended when the students would get out of hand and one day we'd stay after class a bit just to cheer her up. I remember in the first month of 10th grade you told my brother in the library that I was really smart! You also gave me the live action anime boy nick name!! You probably don't remember those things, but it was a time I rarely ever got those kind of compliments. It was just you were the first and only person to ever compliment me (at least outside of my parents and my 4th and 6th grade teacher and Ms. Wagner) and it was one of the main reasons I felt I owed some debt to you and I guess developed my curiosity about you. I was also happy I was reliable for Japanese club back in high school. It was fun and hardwork. I remember putting up with all those drunk people when we did that country concert. That was crazy.

But too bad my brother I never took advantage of rewards due to prior engagements. I remember my brother and Mike Kum hated your sister as president of Japanese club and they both doubted they could have ran it like your sister. They really talked crap about how you two ran Japanese club. I really didn't like them doing that because I did get along with you and your sister so I told them to shut up or I'd kick their asses. Those two were scared about you being president of Japanese club! But Asian club failed our senior year and Mike Kum and I tried to run it!!! But yeah, I guess a part of me did like you for the right reasons though.

To Brandon Barela. I was one of the first people who got to know you when you first came to our class just for sixth grade. Eventually we'd play 4 square and make friends with Paul who used to own everyone until we beat him. I remember what really bonded us was when some kids in 4 square got pissed at us and one of the kids threw a rock at me and I hit him and we all got in trouble and got referals. Despite that, it made me, you and Paul closer. Than the following semester, Mike was assigned to our table and he became part of our crew. You were probably the first of us to hit on girls. You'd hit on Kristen Windelschafer and she'd kick you in the nuts instead. You used to write you love Kristen on EVERYTHING. I remember in science camp for our skit, you teased Mike that he liked Stacy Kartchner. And you two mother fuckers farted on the bus to science camp and put that shit on me!!! I also remembered when you tried to order the playboy channel and it showed up on the phone ball and you got in trouble. I also remembered you told me a story of how you tried to warm up your little brother's milk by farting on his bottle. I still have those roller blades you gave me and they still fit after all these fucking years!!! I remember when you, Paul, and Mike saved me when Cutter, Sean, and a couple of other guys jumped me after school. And I remember you were kicking the most ass.

For years after you moved back to New Mexico, I wondered what happened to you. I went to New Mexico after 9th grade and tried to look you up. But there wre a lot of Barela's and didn't remember your parents' names. So I thought that was useless. Then I got into myspace and I got a substitute teaching job early last year and I worked at Houston for one day. Even though that job didn't last, it brought me back to find you and told me the hard times you went through. I really cried when you told me that and thought the crap me and Mike went through in jr. high was hard, but you really touched me. But I'm glad then you cleaned up and that I could find you. I know we'll see each other again one day. Also, I know the family that moved into your house in Gilbert. I was classmates with the son for 4 years straight from 7-10th grade. And he was a total asshole.

Paul Gheen. You were the biggest kid in class for 5th and 6th grade. You weren't really into the mainstream of things and we had that in common. We lived a block away from each other. The story I have for you was like Brandon's. You had an excellent sense of humor. You knew how to execute. You were like a real life Beavis and Butt-head with the butt-related jokes/insults. You were a hardcore scrapper. You even beat up a kid in church!!! Nobody has the balls to do that in the big man's house! I mean, even immortals in Highlander can't fight on fucking holy ground man!!! You were defying, you were crazy, you were you. You didn't give a fuck. You were a leader (though I can't say you were a role model). You had balls man and that's why people respected you. Too bad you left in the middle of 7th grade. We could have used your help. Mike and I got into a shit load of fights. With your help, we would have ruled Gilbert Jr. probably. I say with Brandon as well, we would have been kings and been doing all the cheerleaders and treat them as expendable.

Steve Davis. You are a classic example of a human being. You have a flaws, but you are a gentle soul. I feel totally bad about you and Andrea. Though you have had your share of fuck ups, but I just personally feel what she has been doing is wrong. First she cheated on you, but it's not like you didn't either. But you learned from your mistake. We all make mistakes. We are all human. But does that make it any better? Well, I don't know. Just your situation really makes me question that. I'm not trying to be negative, but without your presence, I wouldn't be thinking about human nature the way I do. I know somehow, you will fix things with Andrea 100%. I don't know how, but I see it happening. Some people think that the love you and Andrea is messed up. Hell, she was top 5% and you were bottom 5%!!! But you guys had a love that was real for almost 7 years. I was never much of a person who could handle a relationship. I was always a fighter more than a lover. I remember the time we all thought you got your other ex pregnant. I totally thought it was bullshit your old man had to fork up the money. Then I had to tell you my solution. I wanted to tell it to you sooner, but you were very sensitive about the issue and thought you'd just get more pissed. Then when I tell you, you think it's a good idea. Man, that situation would have made GREAT TV!!!! You would have been a star, but with your image, the audience would boo you despite the results of the DNA test. I would have re-worked you to look like Tank Abbott. Shave your head, dress up in motorcycle clothing, toss the glasses, and get that long ass goatee.

You got an awesome sense of humor too. You got those "fuck the political correctness" system jokes. It'll always make me laugh.

Your brother Nate is also the man. But his humor is more based on the reaction to situations. Like he'd spazz or out or just have a cuss tirade. I remember when him and my brother played Initial D at the game club and when your brother won and had to go to the bathroom, Derrick put FAG as his initials and me, you, Derrick and Trey wouldn't stop laughing for a week. That was just so fucking awesome.

David Hess. I knew you through Derrick. You were really cool to know back then. You were into DBZ and games. You taught me and Derrick a lot about the cyber and MMORPG world. Though I never got into that stuff, I learned a lot. You knew how to throw a party and make it fun. You were the center piece of the Gilbert High gamer's club. It was our idea, but you put it through. You worked your ass off on it. Then you made some stupid mistakes. Like piercing your fucking tongue!!! You still suck for that!!! But you and Derrick and Nate and Trey were the original foundation of the crew. Then eventually, it expanded to Me, Steven, and some other people. But it's still you, me, Derrick, Nate, Steve, Biggie, and Stefan. Too bad Matt, aka Guy moved =(. Guy was just awesome!!! But David, back in high school, you were a selfless person and you had a great family. Your family adopted Biggie when his mother moved out of state and he didn't want to leave. But too bad that "step brother magic" is now gone after all those years. I remember your family was willing to adopt Guy. But too bad that didn't happen =(. Now you're the first amongst the crew to get married!!! Man, for me, marriage could never work out. If I ever was married, I'd probably paying my ex-wife right now and I'd be fucking broke!!! But you are one of the heart and soul pieces of the crew. You made the gamer's club, you put together the LAN and gaming parties back then. You fucking did it all. Thank you.

Biggie Hernandez. Uh, you're our token Mexican guy? I don't know. But yeah, you are a pretty philosophical guy who has been through some tough and crazy times but still knew how to make the best of it. I remember you were the computer guy at school. You'd come into our classes and fix all the computers and we'd say "Hey Biggie" and kids laughed and teachers got pissed because we thought we were making fun of you and they didn't know it was the nickname we gave you. You were also a big part with the game club. And uh....you sure know how to knock mother fuckers out when you wear your Mexican flag boxing trunks.

Yasutaka Kuroki. Japan Minimumweight Champion. My 2nd day in Tsuchiura, I come across the gym and saw your poster. You were ranked 2nd in the nation and your upcoming opponent was former IBF champion, Nico Thomas. Seeing that a boxer of your accomplishments made me decide on training at the gym. Two weeks later, you beat the former world champion by a 1st round KO!!! It was an astonishing moment to do that. You weren't an ordinary fighter. You were a trickster and that gave you your ring name, Son Gokuu (named after the Journey to the West character, not the DBZ character). I knew one day you'd be a great fighter. Months after I left, you won the Japanese title and you're now ranked 8th in the world. We were both left handed fighters and you taught me a lot of your footwork tricks and how to use your jab and hook. You were like that older brother that never fucked up his life. I used to think my brother Michael could have been like you, but sometimes I wish I could have traded him for you. I know in just two years, you will be the world champion by knocking out that fraud, Yutaka Niida. I also hope you beat all the Kameda brothers too. I can't make that weight!!!

9:19pm: SI俺達は昔からこの街に憧れて


OK, I'm 23 years old, graduated from college in 3 years, and it has been 2 years. Since then, I wasn't able to get a job with an organzation that I wanted to do when I was 15, dropped out of Grad school in my 1st semester, didn't last 3 weeks at my first post-graduation job, quit the next one due to personal, health, and family cricumstanes, and now I got an unexciting and unfulfillable job. Somehow, I'm trying to fit a fighting career into this.

Do you have one of those issues such as a certain subject you and your parents argue the most about? With my friend Steve, it's about money, with some others, it's about school and future in general. With mine, it's what I'm going to do with my life. In high school, it was mostly about the friends I had and the girls I was seeing.

With some of my distractions out of the way, I feel I need time away from home again. Naturally, my parents don't approve of me taking this kind of route. and I don't feel like going back to school any time soon. I'm sick of my my parent's nagging and their expectations of me. She tells me "I'd be good for this," but I don't feel it it'd be good for me, you know? I feel like I was never meant to function in the so called "real world." It's boring to me and I'm looking to accomplish something big with my life.

I don't think being away in Japan last year helped me due to some personal circumstances that wouldn't let me concentrate on my duties and the majority of my goals. Many distractions just occurred in addition to some health problems such as my knee and I learned from my doctor when I got back that my desert body wouldn't survive the cold which was why I left Japan earlier than I had to.

Now I want to go on another trip away from home. Be free of my problems. I'll admit I don't think about the long term, but I do it like that beause I never know where I'm going with my life. Whatever my parents want out of me, I'm sure they can do it themsleves. I don't feel like living up to their demands (rather than expectations) of me will not at all find any fulfillment in my life. I just know I can't accept the so called real world as school would call it. I've read and herad about peple not being happy with their lives. I just don't want any part of what my parents are forcing onto me. It's like I can't have my own goals or identity or anything. I can't decide who I am.

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be famous of some sort. Thought of acting, but not so sure about it. I started out doing some Tae Kwon Do as a kid. During that time, I thought of doing that as a sport when I grew up. Like be in the Olympics and win a gold medal or something.

Eventually, I grew out of Tae Kwon Do. I preferred the school I had in California and just didn't fit in the school I was taking in Arizona. Then I tried wrestling in 8th grade. But it didn't work out because I went to a school where I didn't got along with the students and the majority of the teachers. Being in a team where I didn't really fit in also killed my interest and motivation.




Then when I was in 9th grade, I got into UFC. I wanted to be like Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock, but no place during that time was offering Brazilian Jiujitsu or Submission Fighting. So throughout high school, I was in limbo with my future, but I wanted to see the world still. I was taking Japanese classes and doing well with them and was at the top of my class and figure I try going to Japan after college or so.

Some people believe and say high school is full of drama. Yeah, it is, but drama is EVERYWHERE!!! It's in bars and clubs, in families, at work, and on reality TV. But yeah, I didn't decide to go to college until my senior year of high school. Near the end of the first semester. The first two years of high school, I just wanted to get the fuck out. I was still in classes with the same bastards I had to put up with in jr. high, and they were still giving me a hard time and still thought they weren't getting suspended or going to jail over. Hell, I almost went to jail for beating up some kid in 8th grade for trying to stab me with a pencil!! I was trying to give up scrapping when I was making that transition to high school.

Even though I had a hard time in jr. high, I think the memories that mattered happened outside. Like when, me, my brother, Mike and Casey would stay up all night and play N64 on the weekends. Like we would play Goldeneye and the wrestling games. I remember me and Mike would take on Derrick and Casey in the wrestling games tornado tag style and we had matches that last nearly all night. I remember Mike and I had a 40 match where I was Bret Hart and he was Roddy Piper and I beat him with a camel clutch.

I also remembered we did catch wrestling grappling fights like King of Pancrase. We recorded our own wrestling matches. It was awesome. Even though I do talk about the bad times with friends a lot, I now realize as a I grow older that I do have good memories of those times outside of the school. It was also hard when Brandon and Paul moved away. I feel totally bad what happened to Brandon. I'm glad I found him after 10 years. Same with Paul. One day, maybe we'll have the old days again. That would be awesome.

I remember some of the fights Mike got into were exciting. Like this fight with this kid near his old apartment. I think that kid's name was Nick, but I forgot his last name. But Mike actually got him with a spear like Bill Goldberg. It was the fucking shit. I remember my best fight in 8th grade was on the bus againt a kid named Cutter. I gave him sweet chin music like Shawn Michaels and then punched him and mixed in some crotch chops.

But when I entered my last 2 years, those jackasses dissapeared, and 10th grade was some what hard on me because my best friend Mike was not there that year, but in Illinois where he hated it. I made new friends, but it wasn't the same fun I had with Mike. I made a lot of friends in school through the Japanese and Asian and Anime clubs and ROTC and playing DDR outside of school. Those were still pretty cool times. The DDR drama was practically the Monday Night Wars drama. Now that's exciting drama, not lame drama. Controversy creates ca$h. I remember the wars h20, the team I was with had with at DDRFreak.com's people who played in Arizona.

I didn't really start dating until I was 15. Not like that's a late age to start. But still, I've pretty much fucked up all the relationships I've been in. But the best girlfriend I had was probably an older woman named Lily. This was when I was barely 16. She was older and wanted to get better at DDR which I was addicted to at the time. I was at the top of my DDR prime and I heard stories that dudes picked up chicks because they got good at this and at II DX. Looks like I hit my jackpot. I'm not saying how much older she was, but damn, I had a "great season" with her. Then her parents found about us and called my folks and things fucked up.

After I started talking to her after things calmed down, she came clean with me and she told me she had a juvie record for street fights (aka assault) and racing. I wasn't mad at her for keeping that from me. Mostly because she was no longer associated with those activities for a long time when I dated her. Lots of girls' parents think I'm some street trash punk because I was a scrapper, the music I listen to, the way I dress and talk. It wasn't why I broke up with Lily, but I could see our age difference giving other problems in the future. It wasn't a maturity thing. She had a criminal record to begin with and I didn't want to contribute to that.

I don't know if what we had was love or lust. We mostly had a physical based monogamous relationship. We never really went out to the movies or anything. Though we rented a few times. Just met somewhere and spend sometime along somewhere and do stuff. But even though we never had true dates, we were still happy together. I don't think we ever bought stuff for each other or anything. Rather than that sun dress I bought for her on her 20th birthday. I think if we were the same age, we'd still be together to this day. The more I think about it, we did have a lot in common and had similar personalities. I'm not sure if it was more lust or love or if it was 50/50, but we did have a fun but strange relationship. I think we had our first times together. Other times, I was probably too drunk to remember if I did or not. I had my first beer and got wasted at 14 at some party I went to with Mike and his sister. But the first time I was contumaciously having sex was with Lily.



But the last time Christmas meant something to me with a love one was after I broke up with Lily. I'm not going to say this girl's name because she reads my blog entries as well as some of my other buddies so I don't want to embarrass her. I thought this girl was cute and my sister and brother and all our friends knew we were close at the time. They thought we were a step away from a couple. I wasn't looking at this girl as a rebound girl. I thought she was cute, but she was too good for me.

She was a smart girl, and I was a mediocre student. Didn't know where I was going in life, and didn't care as long as I was kicking ass. I went from scrapper to childish whacko. But what mostly attracted me to this girl was she told me she had hope for me and said I was smart guy. She really praised me for other qualities I didn't know I had. But it's just I didn't want her to bring her down to my level if I went out with her. I just did that out of whatever feelings I had of her. Then again, her mother and father thought i was a good kid too. Very rare of another girl's parents to say that about me.

But it was Christmas and I bought a perfume and make up set for this girl. I just bought whatever on the top of my head a girl would like. She really hugged and kissed me on the cheek. It felt really weird to me even with the experience I had to that point with Lily. I guess it was the different personalities these girls had that attracted to me. Lily was an older woman and I was with a school girl in this scenario so I'm seeing the difference at this point.

Now onto my next topic:



And just today, I started watching this Japanese TV show called Proposal Daisakusen. It stars Tomohisa Yamashita from NEWS. He's at a wedding of the girl he loves. Bad news, he's not the groom and the groom is their former student-teacher! At the reception during the slide show, he starts to regret things more. And a "fairy" comes up to him and gives him a chance to set things right for himself and hopefully with this girl. Good news is, for awhile, he can be back to where some of us want to be back in, our pure youth.

Every episode, he notices a picture of the girl looking visibly upset and the fairy sends him to the events leading up to that photo to understand why and correct it. Bad news is he returns to the reception when that particular picture is taken and she's still married to that guy. Then he gets another turn with the picture and so on. So it's like a time traveling love tragedy that has a Quantum Leap feel to it. I look at some pictures in high school. Particularity my pictures in Hiroshima. I just wish I could go back to those events. Wish I could stay longer and make more memories and be free of my worries and just have the women I fornicated with to fornicate some more.

But I would make things more right with this girl I was talking about I spent Christmas with even though we didn't have love, but our friendship was still special.


"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."-The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles

In high school, most of us thought we had infinite time. But now I realize that we don't. Is it any use regretting? Well, I'm still human. What's stopping me? The fact that I am? The point is, I don't know want to live a life where I don't get to do what I want to do. I'm sick of other people's expectations of me. It's why I have problems with some of my past girlfriends (thought I've only had 3 serious relationships) and with my family in general.

My parents expect me to have a profession like a lawyer or doctor like in their families. Yes, they don't approve of fighting. It's not because of the violence or getting hurt. Well, my mom has a relative in Hawaii that used to be a boxer. She was ranked 1st in the world twice but could never get the title. Plus, he never made that much money and that's mostly my parents concern. They are aware that in reality, there really isn't that much money fighting despite what the media says. I'll admit that's true.

Now onto my problems with women. Some of my friends are convinced I'm hopeless now. There's something about being a champion that captivates me. It's something I can work for. I know I won't blame my failures on other people when I lose. I know I can do this and not regret it. The reason I bring this up in my problems with women was because they don't approve of me doing this any less than my parents. Like when I was living in Japan, girls just couldn't accept that I wanted to fight for a living and thought it was a ridiculous idea and think it's just some stupid masculine ting. They just think it's stupid. It's like I can't have an Adrian or something.

I know for certain if I could start over again, I'd start my training. I know I could convince my parents to let me try despite their initial opposition. I had my ways back then. Would I correct what I had with Lily? I don't know. I haven't talked to her for over a year now. Despite what we had, maybe, but I felt something was also wrong. I guess it was the age thing between us. Even in our adult ages, I don't think our feelings would be recognized mostly due to our pasts.

I guess I go back to Lily because I think she's the only girl I had that I know would approve of me fighting, but it would sure suck if I show up at her wedding and I'm not the groom =(.

But despite the disagreements I have with my family, I'm happy I have them. I guess these kinds of things I experience are really no exemption to what other people go through.

But one thing for certain is I'm happy I'm not married or ever was married. I'm sure I'd be divorced and my life would be in shambles.